You couldn’t really blame the lady for her feelings.  I’m sure there was a lot of “because I’m the mother” sentiment behind it, along with some “my children are infallible so I can’t see the forest for the trees.”  Surely if Nelson’s Mom was linked to him in a capacity other than blood she would also see him as the jackass he was.  (And when I say jackass, that’s just a euphemism for fuckhead.)  He was certainly a boy that only a mother could love.  Or only a mother and a lonely brainwashed sister.

    The confrontation between my doppelganger and mamma Nelson had devolved into a standoff.  Both just stared at each other red-faced searching for something else to say.  A new voice broke the silence.

    “There you are!”

    My father had spotted the screaming match and wandered over to intervene.  I’d been so caught up in the show that I hadn’t noticed his arrival until now. 

    Dad turned to the lovely mother of the groom and began doling out the charm.  “Ma’am, I’m terribly sorry for my son’s behavior.  He’s always been protective of his sister and thought he was doing the right thing.  If the kids choose to continue the wedding, your son will certainly be a welcome member of our family.”

    “Bullshit!” I chimed in even though I thought that only I could hear myself speak.  “He’s going to kill her.”

    Younger me repeated a paraphrased version of my line.  “That’s right.  He’s going to kill her.”

    I wished he had kept the swear in there for emphasis. 

    What happened next shocked and confused everyone, albeit for differing reasons.  Dad turned and faced real, phantom time traveling me directly.  Looking me in the eye, he said, “Nobody is going to kill anyone, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop putting ideas into my son’s head.”

    I looked around dumbfounded, as did Mrs. Nelson.  Young me thought nothing strange of it, as he thought everyone could see me.  All eyes were on Dad.

    “Yeah, I’m talking to you,” he said emphatically.  “First you yell out during the ceremony, and now this.”

    Mrs. Nelson didn’t know what to do with herself.  “I never even suggested that my son would kill your daughter, and I’m offended by the accusation!”

    Dad brushed her off. 

    “No ma’am, not you.  I’m talking to this nosy park worker,” giving me a shove for emphasis.

    I say he gave me a shove rather than tried to give me a shove because he really did.  His arm didn’t travel through me as the blow from the mom did, but landed square on my shoulder and caused me to stumble back a few paces before falling to the ground.

    “Did you put him up to this?  Are you in love with my daughter?”

    “Don’t blame him, Dad,” other me said in my defense.  “I’ve been planning this for a while.”

    “Whomever are you talking about?” said a still confused Nelson’s Mom.

    Amidst the hullabaloo, Nelson’s father had also reached our circle.

    “They’ve decided to have a private ceremony back at the house.  Immediate family only.”

    He turned slightly to face younger me.  “That is, except for you.  I forbid you and your shenanigans from my home!”

    Like father, like son I suppose with all the “forbidding” going on.  Nelson’s father took his wife’s hand and marched away with nary another word to my father nor my visible self.  When they were far enough away to be out of earshot, Dad put an arm around younger me.

    “Let me take you home.  I have to go give your sister away, then we can talk about why you did what you did.  That wasn’t a very good first meeting with the in-laws.”

They both smiled at the joke.  Dad continued.  “Also, I don’t think you should associate with this guy anymore,” motioning to real me, still on the ground.

    Young me turned his head back towards me for help, but I waved him off.  A new plan was already forming. 

    Dad was right that it wasn’t a very good first meeting with the in-laws.  What I really needed to stop was a different first meeting.  I’d have to head the relationship off at the source.  If they can’t meet they can’t kiss, and if they can’t kiss they can’t get together, and if they don’t get together they don’t get married, and if they don’t get married my sister lives. 

    Piece of cake.